The birth of my two wonderful grandchildren is such a precious gift. They fill me with such great love! Their dad is amazing! Although his marriage is over, he is strong and way less stressed in his life now. He is showing his children that truth and being ethical is critical in life. He enriches their lives so much and they are an amazing family. I am so very thankful.
This need I have to find that someone who can give me the kind of connection I desire right now has led me to rejoin some dating websites. I have to laugh to myself about this because in the 10 years that I have intermittently been part of these sites, I have only met two people. The first was the man I thought might be the great love of my life. Unfortunately, over four years into the relationship I realized he was not who I thought he was.
This included advice I was getting from other people, articles I was reading at Feltife, and so on. Somehow I transformed everything -even things by strangers, into a parable about me or Him our our relationship.
Another thing that this pandemic has shown me is that I do not, at least right now (and this is not because of the virus) want to be part of a couple. I did have a boy(man)friend, up until a few months ago. I probably never should have become involved with him because I knew that I did not want to live with or marry anyone ever again. I feel bad about ending the relationship, but since we couldn’t spend time together now anyway, it was a good time for it to end. We are still friends and will remain so.
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The last photograph I removed from the cave was one of my son, my two wonderful grandchildren and myself, taken the first Christmas after my son’s separation. It was not his choice to end the marriage. It was not an easy time for any of us, and yet here we are, together, experiencing the joys of the holiday along with the sadness of the break-up of a family. This picture shows that by being supportive of each other and being positive, rather than negative, about the future, we can get through even the most difficult situations.
I know that not everyone is finding a lot to be positive about during this pandemic. I have friends who are struggling. It’s hard to be so happy when people I care about are dealing with critical issues. I try to be supportive and help whenever I can.
The suicide of my husband, although tragic at the time, makes me so much stronger and shows me that a person can experience terrible events but can come out of them to lead a life of great happiness. It teaches me that we choose how we react to events in our lives and in so doing, we create our lives, either as victims or as strong, victorious people.
In the midst of everything currently going on in the world, it is sometimes difficult to take control of our negative feelings or our fears. Not only are we now into the ninth month of Covid-19 protocols, but the political situations in many countries is very unstable. This is especially true in the United States, the country of my birth, where I resided from 1948 until 1976 when I moved to Alberta, Canada, with my husband. I have lived in Canada longer than I lived in the U.S.
It was November of 1972. I had begun my first teaching job in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts, at the John F. Kennedy Elementary School, that September. I was teaching a Grade 5 class in a ghetto school and was one of the shortest people in my classroom. I did not have a lot of self-confidence at this point in my life and was not feeling in complete control of my classroom or my life, at that point.
But it is NOT over. And the only way it will be over is for all of us to do what is asked of us to make sure that we are part of the solution, not part of the problem. This is not a matter of taking away your rights…when asked to wear a mask, to stay home, to give up partying with your friends, just until we can get people vaccinated, just do it. Suck it up for the time it takes to get things back under control. So that people who are waiting for heart surgeries or treatments for their cancer or need to be in the hospital for any reason other than Covid, can get what they need to survive.Is that too much to ask?
The rain shower lasts only a few, short minutes as I continue to rise upwards. I soon feel myself approaching my special place and I start to descend, feeling excited that I will arrive soon.
Writing has always been part of my life. I think that my Gramps started my love of writing by sending me letters, written by hand, whenever he was away. He wrote to me as if I was an adult, even when I was four-years-old and continued doing this until he was physically unable to do so. I wrote back to him. I wrote letters to friends, relatives and pen pals who I had never met. I began journalling at a very young age and have never stopped. I have written books for children and young adults. I write poetry, more when I am sad or going through some difficult situation, and I am currently working on my memoir.
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There is more to this “new life” than those that the restrictions regarding the pandemic have brought about. The political situations in various countries have created a society where it is not only acceptable to be bigoted, racist and violent, but it is encouraged. The human race in not showing much humanity anymore. Part of this is political and part of it is the ability to have a huge platform, via social media.
Yes, the world is a changed place. We have to learn to adapt. Isn’t it wonderful that we have to capacity to do just that! This crisis has shown me how much we are are connected to each other…globally. We are not citizens of a city, province, state, country or even continent. We are all citizens of the world. What each of us does affects people all over the world. We all need to work together…not only now, in the midst of a pandemic, but ALWAYS…to achieve a peaceful, safe world for ourselves and our descendants.
